A bit over ten years ago I had a crisis in faith, which resulted in me turning from being a heavily lapsed Christian to being a Taoist. Although I’ve thought through this decision many times in the years since, and the reasons for it have grown, I’ve never previously attempted to put these thoughts into writing. A word of warning – these thoughts are often irreverent and iconoclastic – read at your own risk.

On the divine

It isn’t an uncommon reaction, on exposure to the wonders and beauty of the world and universe, to wish to ascribe a higher purpose to the whole thing. While it is quite possible that this is an illusion, caused by the high degree towards which human perception and cognition is adapted towards pattern recognition, with resultant tendencies to see patterns even when they aren’t there, such an explanation is spiritually unsatisfying.

However, it is a large jump from a sense of the divine to anthropomorphise it into an old guy with a beard who used to spend a lot of time following around one particular obscure tribe in the Middle East … or for that matter to some specific chick in a skirt, or some shaggy guy with horns. A spiritual ‘Occam’s Razor’ would appear to apply – why ascribe a more complex spiritual explanation when a simpler one fits the feeling of wonder?

This in turn leads to the question of whether the specific spiritual characteristics ascribed to the divine are in fact inherent to it, or are merely an artifact of the observer – an attempt to reduce the unfathomable down to something we can deal with? Do we each create god in our own image, according to our idiosyncratic needs and prejudices?

An improbable chimera

It’s odd. In spite of the many problems I have with Christianity, the figure I have least problem with is Christ himself. Unfortunately to accept the Christian conception of the divine you have to accept a lot of spiritual baggage in addition …

It starts off with a fairly stereotypic tribal god – lots of smiting thy enemy, long lists of taboos and some quite petty tricks to test their loyalty. The sort of thing that makes sense for the spiritual needs of a tribe attempting to maintain survival, morale and cohesion in an area packed with other tribes.

It then turns into a guy telling you to be nice to everybody, and consequentially not be too greedy or judgmental. Not a bad message really.

This however gets heavily expanded on after his departure, by a number of people, not all of whom knew the original guy personally, to include quite a bit of stuff beyond simple clarification of the original guy’s teaching, some of it quite judgmental, and finishing with a prophecy that some really not-nice stuff will happen to a lot of people near the end of things.

The whole thing hangs together about as well as Odin putting on a scanty dress and calling himself Aphrodite and then getting a haircut, putting on army boots and calling himself Mithras.

This can lead to three views of Christianity:

That it’s all true, with the result that Christianity is meant to be seriously schizophrenic. The consequences of attempting to apply such a view of Christianity would be seriously scary, were it not for the high probability that the practitioner would quickly get locked up.

A la carte Christianity – whereby Christians individually choose, often at a fairly unconscious level, which themes of Christianity, and specific biblical passages, to emphasise and de-emphasise. This is, I suspect the way that most Christians operate – even “literal word of God” fundamentalists (who happily cite biblical justification for smiting gays, while conveniently ignoring the majority of the Levitican taboos). This creates two problems. Firstly it turns an apparently singular religion into a myriad of, often very different and heavily contradictory, splinters. Secondly it allows people to not only “create god in their own image” to confirm their own prejudices, it further allows them to cite biblical authority for this prejudiced view (for an extreme example, do an internet search on ‘Addicted to Hate’, the title of an unpublished book freely available online about one of the more bigoted Christian churches & its founder).

A more explicit and systematic culling of Christian thought, including the bible, to attempt to provide a more consistent and stable spiritual basis. This however has two problems – firstly it would be heavily schismatic from normal Christianity, secondly it would take considerable research on what to throw out (assuming you didn’t do a gross-level cull of simply dumping the Old Testament and/or the post-Christ sections of the New Testament).

Some hypothetical questions

Even postulating a creator, is one sufficiently small-minded as to demand with menaces the worship of his creations worthy of that worship?

Is an umpire sufficiently careless that it allows hundreds of contradictory rulebooks to circulate (thus guaranteeing a high probability that they will serve to mislead rather than illuminate players), one that you would wish to judge a game whose outcome is the fate of your immortal soul? Surely it would follow that if a perfect creator wished to establish a belief system for its creation, its belief system would be sufficiently superior to any belief systems that might accidentally come into existence that it would entirely displace them? Does it not follow therefore that, lacking a belief system that is obviously dominant to all others (both in following and in perfection), that either there is not a creator, or that it does not choose to establish a belief system?

Is a deity sufficiently ineffable and cryptic in its intentions that whole libraries of arguments have been written reconciling its reputed omnibenevolence with the existence of evil within its creation (and with biblical references to a supernatural evil, apparently also of its own creation), one with whom we can have the “personal relationship” that so many Christians promote?

'Free will' is often used to excuse the existence of evil and suffering, while still claiming an omnibenevolent creator. This line of argument has numerous flaws however...